chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
