if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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