I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
