You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You smell like stripper and shame
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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