apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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