Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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