Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
