I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is classic penis vs brain.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
