I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
