last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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