Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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