47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
