i think i have herpe
just one?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
