Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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