I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
