you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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