Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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