i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
