4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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