he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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