I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
