I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
