She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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