You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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