hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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