I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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