This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
