he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
