yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
