I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
