I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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