There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
