I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
