Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm sobbing to NWA
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
