your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
