then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
