Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
