it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
