We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
