hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
