Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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