So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
