If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
