I accidentally burped into my bong.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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