we're blogging at a bar
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
P.S. I can't hear my feet
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Shame - the story of my life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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