just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
