apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
