Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
