Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
