Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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