I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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