My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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