Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is wine microwaveable?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We are two peas in an std pod
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
